nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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