I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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