they need to just BURY HIM!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
