I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize