he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
That accounts for only three of the penises
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
