i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
