Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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