Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
