Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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