I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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