dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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