yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
