i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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