i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
