i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
