like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
