One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
