hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize