hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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