everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
