he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
