I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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