would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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