we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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