at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
