I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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