dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
