He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
