ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
