i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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