Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize