My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
