Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I've blown a few things in my day
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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