Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize