At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
