And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
