This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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