he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
