I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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