idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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