Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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