Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Randomize
