If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
