I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can I color on your dick again?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
