If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
