I never want to see another naked old woman again.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
