So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I need moral support for this bender
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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