We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
