Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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