My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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