Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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