talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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