quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
