so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
