Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish my penis had a tongue
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize