Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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