Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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