I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
