I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
