Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he shaved USA in his pubs
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
