I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
