Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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