like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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