He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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