I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
