dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
