After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
