why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Randomize
