What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
