Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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